so frustrating...

Last saturday was my presentation for my other research paper. I found out that I made a mistake in my study and I couldn't do anything about it now since the deadline is this coming Wednesday. This is my first paper where I gave an effort and it turns out that it was a bad paper. I think it's not substantial enough and it's not good enough especially when it comes to its structure. It's just so disappointing because maybe I expected that this paper will be better than my previous papers.

Disappointment--this is what I always get when I give my best. I always end up frustrated...that is why I rather not expect something from anything or anyone because I always end up disappointed. I always do. I think expectation is equals to disappointment and frustrations. The last time that I felt like this...having a big disappointment in life is when I was in college...when I was playing soccer...there are things that I badly want and I do everything to get it but in the end, it will only give me frustations..I actually hate this kind of feeling. Right now, it seems nothing is right for me. Everything I do is a struggle. Everything I want...I got it because I had been through hell and back. Sometimes it's so tiring...sometimes I just want to stop fighting and let things be...sometimes I just don't want to care anymore...