musing...

Last Wednesday, I got my braces. Now, I really look like Ugly Betty. I wear glasses and braces. I'm sure I look like a geeky person and I don't think many of us want to look like one. So, I will try my best to be diligent in putting on my contacts. Gosh! I'm too lazy to care for my appearance. hahaha! I don't want to put on my contacts early in the morning and I don't want to put on a little bit of make-up just to be presentable. I rather sleep than wake up early just to do these things every morning. Then it made me think, I really have to start caring.

BTW, this is my braces and its pink...hahaha!

***********

Speaking of CARE, I sometimes don't care and that's the truth. Even though many things is already happening around me, I usually have late reaction or there are times that I simply don't feel anything except when something bad happens to one of my closest friends but when it comes to myself, this kind of thing usually happens--not caring. Gosh! I think I'm a cold person. I don't exactly know when I started feeling this way. Maybe wayback when I was in high school, when I encountered several disappointments. I always don't expect something from someone or from anything that I do. I don't expect to excel and I don't expect to do things better than others 'cause I will just end up bitter and frustrated. Now, I realize that my life is a little bit chaotic since I don't really care much about it. I feel like I didn't do anything right these past few months and I'm dismayed. I thought everything will be alright but then I'm wrong. Either way, I will still feel disappointed--for myself or on the things surrounding me. Well, life is full of disappointments and it's part of growing up. It's just how we're going to handle the different situations that come along.

*********

The funny thing that makes me realize about these things are when my friends told me about their problems. Yesterday, I received text messages and online messages from my friends almost at the same time. They told me about their worries in life. One is worried about her performance in her office and her capabilities, two were worried about their studies, one is worried about someone's health and the other is regretting her decision. How about me? I am worried about them. The things that they said to me made me think that I should also worry about my studies and my performance in my company because I'm not doing well. It's like I'm a mediocre and a walking failure. So, today I said to myself that I have to aim high and that I have to do my best in everything not just in some things.

Missing soccer...

It's been years since I last played soccer. If I can remember it right, the last time I played was after my college graduation. I convinced my mom to allow me to go back to Dumaguete to process my school documents but at the back of my mind, the real reason that I went back was because I wanted to play soccer. I think leaving Dumaguete particulary Silliman is one my lowest point in life. I just really love that place and the people. I feel so comfortable and happy just thinking of the memories I have way back high school then college especially the time when I was in the field playing with my team mates.

Soccer...my favorite sport. I started playing it when I was in high school. It was just for fun, no pressure at all. Our coach treated us like babies. The real game started when I played soccer in college. I stopped playing when I was in my freshmen and sophomore years in college due to my course and also due to some personal reasons. I was in my junior year in college when I went back playing. Our coach taught me a lot of things--not just playing the game but building my character. I think, I've been more patient, considerate and persevere person because of soccer. Remembering the trainings and scolding that we've got from our coach makes me say that it is worth it. If I were to do one thing in my life all over again, I would like to play soccer again. It's the only thing that I can remember doing where I gave my 100%. Though, I was not so good in playing but at least I gave my everything. Our team standing was not one of the best and was so behind compared to our soccer men varsity but then we were fighters. We lost a lot of games and we won a few but it made me realize that it doesn't really matter if we were not the number one team. What matters most is we worked as a team and we did what we could. For me, it's alright to fail so long as I did my best. As I cruise down my memory lane, I remember that I miss some of my afternoon classes just to practice playing soccer. I could not bear to be absent in our afternoon soccer practices that I rather ditch my classes and my meeting with my friends. I like to smell again the scent of a newly cut grass and spend my afternoon in the field with a soccer ball. I want to experience this kind of thing again. Doing something that I love.


As days passed by, I came to realize that we have to follow our heart for us to find happiness and as I encountered different types of people, I can say that I'm still fortunate because I was able to do the things I want when I still studying in high school and college. Maybe that's why I always say that those were my "golden" years. As for the months and years to come, I will truly try my best to make more wonderful memories and to do the things that makes me happy. I only live once in this earth, I hope that I will be as carefree as I could be.

My student

I've been teaching Koreans for several years already. I started teaching kids and then now I'm teaching adults. I had wonderful time with kids because they are so trusting and participative. Anyway, now that I'm handling adults I find it interesting to have conversations with them about different topics. I learned a lot of things from them and I hope they learned something from me.

*******************
One of my favorite students got married two months ago or so. In our class, he's funny and talkative. He really has a sense of humor. He can easily grasp the jokes that I cracked and the humor behind our dialogues. He's such a comic. These past few days, I kept on bugging him about his wedding picture and I made him promise to send it to me. So, yesterday he sent me these pictures which are so beautiful and dreamy. hahaha! I think these kind of pictures are one of every women's dreams--to capture love through photos. So cheesy...hahaha!

This is my favorite photo. It's so romantic--kissing under the rain..hahaha!

Though some might think that they're just photos but these kind of photos may make some people inspired and make those people who don't believe in love to believe again.

Lucky are those people who found love and good luck for those people who are still looking for love. As for me, I'm just happy to see people in love. I only want to be an observer at this moment and not a participant.

Single women's valentine's day

February 14th


Valentine's Day...Well, I was so busy. I had to meet different people. I had dates--my cousins and friends. It was still a date, right? Valentines is not just for those people who got lovers, it's for single people out there. It's time to be with our friends and family.


So, here's my valentines...


I spent more than half of my day in school. I had to go to school because of my classes. Oh! It was valentine's day and I was staring in a four walled corners of my room and listening to my professors' discussions. I felt a little bit bad because everybody was already enjoying their day while I was stuck with my classmates and professor discussing reading strategies and syllabus. What a day to spend. Well, I sensed that I'm not the only one who felt that way because I some of my classmates were restless and could not wait to get out of our classrooms. hahaha! Thank god! we didn't have a class in our last course which is grammatical structures...nobody wants to discuss grammar in a day like this, right?


After class, I met my cousins. We had pizza and spaghetti. Oh! I was bloated. We ordered many food and we were only three. We were together for less than three hours since I had to go somewhere. I had to go to my friend's place[Ayka] just to spend time with her and Nancy. She was so busy so we decided to have coffee instead and since I planned to see Weng before midnight together with Nancy, we had to live early because of the heavy traffic. While we were having coffee, we tried to catch each others lives though we didn't have much time to talk about every single details that happened to us. When we were about to meet Weng, we decided to call it off because I was tired and so is she. I think, I've been all over metro Manila that day. Though, my meeting with Weng was not push through, I still decided to go home early because I was too scared to commute from Quezon city to Alabang alone in the middle of the night. I'm a little bit skittish now because I was harassed months ago. It's just that I don't want to have that kind of experience because it makes me angry and hateful.


I arrived around midnight and when I reached my apartment, I'm alone and sometimes I just want it to be that way--alone. No one to talk to. I turned on my dvd and watched something that I already watched months ago.


Then Valentines day was over...that was how I spend my valentines day. I hope that I will be able to spend more time with those people closest to my heart next Valentines. It doesn't matter if you have someone [boyfriend] or not, what matters most is to spend time with those people who are closest to your heart--family and friends. Well, If we're going to be lucky some of the Angels [Ayka, Nancy and I] will have someone next valentines especially Ayka. hahaha! Who knows, love will be knocking on her door..For Nancy and I, maybe years from now..I still love being with myself.


'Till next Valentines...

25 things about me...

This 25 things about one's self has been going around for several weeks already. I ignored it first but then many people are tagging each other and it made me think, why not join the club and have a list of my own. So, here are the 25 things about me which I posted on my notes in Facebook..

1. As AJ--my friend and my classmate told me...nangamote ako sa statistics...hahaha! Gosh! I didn't realize before that this subject is very important in research...duh! I'll just hire statistician if I'll have to use statistical tools...hahaha!
2. The last novel I read was the "Breaking dawn". I'm not a bookworm anymore..hahaha!Gosh! I miss reading. This will be one of the things I'm going to do after studying...
3. I've never been to Silliman since 2004 and I miss it soo much...I think the time when I was studying there was the happiest time of my life. I have many wonderful memories...
4. I easily trust and forgive people. I don't hold grudges because it makes me feel ugly inside and out. It's a burden.
5. I want to be a philantrophist or to have my own foundation...hahaha! That is why I want to be rich...gosh...so saintly..is this really me? Seriously, I want to help.
6. I have a crush for more than 10 years already and I think that he will always be my crush. Hahaha! gosh! I really want to get over him...
7. I love to watch Asian dramas and TV series...Oh! I still love to watch teen movies or series..
8. I'm fond of listening to Taiwanese, Korean and Japanese songs even though I don't understand them.
9. I have a doubt about me being 'friendly'. Maybe I still am or I was..I don't know anymore. Maybe this is because I'm used to being alone all the time. I have friends but I don't really expect them to be always here for me. I think my my friendliness is 'deteriorating'..hahaha! --gosh! I think I'm on my way to becoming a LONER...
10. I rarely go out. When I was in HS and college, I usually hang out, go to bars or drink but now it's the opposite. I usually stay at home during Friday and Saturday night and Sunday. I just watch a dvd or sleep and sometimes do some paper works...duh! I'm a boring person, aren't I?
11. My favorite coffee now is UCC..Starbucks is alright but If I have to choose between starbucks and UCC..I will definitely pick UCC...There coffee is just so heavenly.
12. I always drink coffee every morning before I start my work and I love to have afternoon coffee or tea in a nice and quiet coffee shop.
13. I love to go to different places and explore. It makes me excited to see unusual things and it makes me curious about other people's lifestyle and culture.
14. I believe that money and success are not my priorities. It's happiness. I just want to be HAPPY...
15. Before, I was so hot tempered but now I can control my temper most of the time...yahoo! Thanks to Koren, Innex, Annex,Panyang, DJ, Astrah and many more who were there for me even though I had a very bad temper...hahaha!
16. Soccer taught me a lot of things...patience, teamwork and so forth.
17. I can sleep for 12 hours a day and I can just lie down on my bed for almost a day.
18. I'm a couch potato. I can watch dvds for hours and have my meals there at the same time.
19. I'm a procrastinator. I just love cramming. di na natoto..
20. I hate writing using a pen and a paper.
21. I'm not confident to be in a relationship...I don't think I can handle it. hahaha! blame it for getting used to being alone all the time.
22. I still believe in HAPPY ENDING...fate and destiny..but then I also believe that there are some things that we have to wouk on. DUH! I'm such a romantic sucker.
23. I'm not good in English...I sucks when it comes to writing..(that's what I think)
24. I want to learn one martial art, photography or do bungee jumping before I die.
25. I admire people who have sense of humor and who are intelligent and open-minded..

gosh! I forgot...this will be my 26th..anyway..I don't like to eat any lamang loob like liver, intestines and so on but I do like liver spread and dinuguan...hahaha!

Here are the 25 things about me..It took me an hour to think about these things. Now, it's ur turn..

Blogging and tagging...SUHS2000 saturday night

A few minutes ago...I got my grade in Second language Acquisition. I thought I did not make it. I can't imagine if I'm going to take that subject again. Last trimester was so traumatic that I don't think I want to repeat the same course. Anyway, I'm thankful that GOD is so merciful that he helped me. I was so happy when I opened my online grade. It was like I was about to jump out from my seat. No more worries about SLA. Now, I can focus on my courses this trimester. FIGHTING!

********************

Saturday, Jan 31st

I was so excited to have dinner with my batchmates that I didn't even want to attend my classes anymore last Saturday. Because of my laziness and excitement, I was absent in one of my subjects and that was unplanned and unexcpected. Well, there's always a first time. Anyway, I met my SUHS2000 batchmates here in Manila because we had to talk about our homecoming and the activities that we would like to have. Of course, all of us want it to be grand...palaban kasi batch namin..hahaha! So, we dined in Krocs again and then we had a meeting. It was so funny when we were about to pay the bill. We coerce our other batchmates to shell out some money and pay for the bill. In the end, some of us only paid less. hahaha! After that, we went to Ponte to hang out but then we there were bands playings so most of us didn't feel like it so we transferred and went to Absinth. There, we danced until our feet hurt. I think, this event is going to be one of the highlights this year...What a memorable Saturday night!

Here are some of our pictures...

First stop: Krocodile Grill, Greenbelt3 (dinner and meeting)

Paying of bills....well, some of us didn't want to pay much since we are students..hahaha! OH! wait...the students (Jogie and Carlo) were the one who gave a thousand...mmmmm...

LET'S START THE PARTY...

Absinth, Greenbelt3

single ladies...let's have a party..hahaha!