musing...

Last Wednesday, I got my braces. Now, I really look like Ugly Betty. I wear glasses and braces. I'm sure I look like a geeky person and I don't think many of us want to look like one. So, I will try my best to be diligent in putting on my contacts. Gosh! I'm too lazy to care for my appearance. hahaha! I don't want to put on my contacts early in the morning and I don't want to put on a little bit of make-up just to be presentable. I rather sleep than wake up early just to do these things every morning. Then it made me think, I really have to start caring.

BTW, this is my braces and its pink...hahaha!

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Speaking of CARE, I sometimes don't care and that's the truth. Even though many things is already happening around me, I usually have late reaction or there are times that I simply don't feel anything except when something bad happens to one of my closest friends but when it comes to myself, this kind of thing usually happens--not caring. Gosh! I think I'm a cold person. I don't exactly know when I started feeling this way. Maybe wayback when I was in high school, when I encountered several disappointments. I always don't expect something from someone or from anything that I do. I don't expect to excel and I don't expect to do things better than others 'cause I will just end up bitter and frustrated. Now, I realize that my life is a little bit chaotic since I don't really care much about it. I feel like I didn't do anything right these past few months and I'm dismayed. I thought everything will be alright but then I'm wrong. Either way, I will still feel disappointed--for myself or on the things surrounding me. Well, life is full of disappointments and it's part of growing up. It's just how we're going to handle the different situations that come along.

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The funny thing that makes me realize about these things are when my friends told me about their problems. Yesterday, I received text messages and online messages from my friends almost at the same time. They told me about their worries in life. One is worried about her performance in her office and her capabilities, two were worried about their studies, one is worried about someone's health and the other is regretting her decision. How about me? I am worried about them. The things that they said to me made me think that I should also worry about my studies and my performance in my company because I'm not doing well. It's like I'm a mediocre and a walking failure. So, today I said to myself that I have to aim high and that I have to do my best in everything not just in some things.