Saturday afternoon with Astrah...

Last Saturday, I spent my time with my dearest friend Astrah. It's been years since we last saw each other even though we live in the same area. Busy, busy, tired, tired...well, these words are the most common excuses that most of us could come up. Yes, it's true that we are tired and busy all the time but what we need is the WANT to spend time with friends...mmmm...think so?

As usual, I spent my afternoon with Astrah in Starbucks..again? just different location...LOL. We had coffee in Starbucks. It's been almost everyday that I drank coffee from the same coffee company that I did not know what to order anymore. (so funny..)
There were so many things to talk about that we did not know where to start. In the end, we talked about anything and everything under the sun and we found out so many thigs about our common friends and about each other as well. I had a splendid time catching up with our lives.

-To Astrah-

Thank you for spending time with me even though we just spent few hours in each others company but still it made me so happy. The things that we did will always be one of my happiest memories this summer. I hope that we can do it again with our other friends of course. A time spent with a friend is never a waste. Love yah!

Thanks!

angelkrizz

catching up with my old friend...

Friday...

I've been busy these past few weeks that I wasn't able to post something in my blog. There were so many things that happened to me and now there are still so many things going on in my mind.

The past few days....

The other night, my friends and I hanged out in Starbuck--our favorite hangout place and then unexpectedly one of my friends took a picture of my favorite barista. I just love to post his picture here...maybe one of these days...

I've been thinking of leaving or staying in my apartment. My friends who are with me are going to vacate our home sweet home. So sad but things have to end...

Last Monday, I saw my grades last semester...it made me want to laugh. I did not expect to have high grades but I guess I deserved it.

Last week, I took an exam in DLSU..it just made me crazy..Taking an exam without sleep..I hope the result will be more than I expected.

a few moments ago...

I talked to one of my closest friend..KOREN...It made me so happy talking to her and exchanging irrelevant and relevant information. I heard that some of our friends are going to Singapore, some are going to get married and some broke up already, some are having good career and some are still starting. Life is indeed colorful. We may have ups and downs but still it's great to know that we have friends that will always stay by our side and will join us in our journey.

first weekend with nothing to do...

Well, this is my first weekend with nothing to do...no appointments and no classes...my dream weekend. It's been a long time since I have this kind of weekend...I just love it. Most of my weekends, well I have to study and I have to do some errands. But this weekend, it's just amazing. I had my hair and nails done yesterday and now, I'm sitting alone in Starbucks waiting for the afternoon to pass by and doing this blog. It's a really great Sunday afternoon. I spent most of my hours being a potato couch and I realized I have to do something despite of being sick. Yes, I have a cold since Friday night and I have a slight fever last night but it did not stop me from going out of my apartment.

This afternoon, sitting alone in Starbucks and waiting for the sun to go down is just one of my favorite things to do. It's just so amazing. It's makes me think how wonderful life is. Yesterday, I watched TV and I saw how Africans are doing. It makes me sad that I'm always fuss about how miserable my life is and there are some people out there who are experiencing things that I could not imagine. Fighting for their lives because of poverty, diseases and virus and still they are hopeful. It makes me think that I'm still a lucky. Indeed I am.

Being lucky that I am, it makes me really want to do something for others. It makes me want to give back to those people who need help. I hope I can make this come true, with the help of the people around me i think it's possible . My plan is, I want to teach English for the whole summer for free after my masters if I will be able to graduate. I hope so..I'm crossing my fingers. Anyway, I like to go back to my hometown and serve the community there by teaching English for free. I will like to do this to improve their English. I also want to impart my knowledge to the teachers their by giving trainings or seminars on how to teach English effectively. Thinking about this makes me laugh. I don't really have the confidence to do this kind of thing but maybe a year or two from now, things will change. I will be able to have that confidence to make this thing happen. I really want to do this badly and I know that if I want something bad, I'll find confidence and courage. This really makes me want to shout that I can do this!

weekend thoughts...

I went to Batangas, my grandmother's house, this weekend. I was able to think things over while I was traveling. I felt gloomy and blue everytime I think of the things I want to do and the things that I have to do...my life. I've said in my last blog that changes might take place this summer. Change is a must for us to continue growing and for us to fulfill our dreams. Stagnation makes me feel scared and so is change. I know I made a big decision already which is pursuing my master's degree and I know, I will still make a big one before the summer ends.

It's already summer...

It's been a while since I posted something in this blog. I've been busy these past few days, with my studies and work. This week is the last week of my class and then we're going to have our long awaited summer break. The weather is already hot and everybody is now planning to have a summer trip. I have many plans for the summer and I hope these plans will be pushed through. I will not talk about my plans here yet but surely I will talk about them if I've done it already. I'm quite excited and worried at the same time for I know that there will be many changes this summer. Things might not be the same again or it might be still the same as always.

Changes...it's one of the things that people fear about. Changes...at times, it's something good and something bad. Changes...I hope I will have the courage to face it.

It's summer again...it's just a start of it...hoping things will fall into places...

One tree hill season 4...I just love it

ONE TREE HILL is one of the TV series that I avidly watch. I just can’t keep my eyes off from the Scott Brothers and of course my favorite bitch, whore and slut Brooke Davis. Watching One Tree Hill reminds me about high school and it brings back the memories especially the good ones. It makes me feel like a high school student again.

I just finished watching One Tree Hill season 4. It was awesome. It was good. I just hated that Brooke and Lucas Scott broke up but I think life is really like that. There is no such thing as constant. It also makes me realized that hooking with your friend’s boyfriend or ex-boyfriend will never be fine…laugh at loud!

One of the things that I love about this show is their quotes and voiceover. There are lessons to learn and things to think over. It makes me sometimes contemplate about life and friends.

These are some of the quotes and voice over that I found striking in season 4.

But if you look closer, you might see someone like you. Someone trying to find their way. Someone trying to find their place. Someone trying to find their self. Sometimes it seems like you are the only one in the world who's struggling, who's frustrated, or unsatisfied, or barely getting by. But that feeling's a lie. And if you just hold on, just find the courage to face it all for another day, someone or something will find you and make it all okay. Because we all need a little help sometimes. Someone to help us hear the music in the world, to remind us that it won't always be this way. That someone is out there. And that someone will find you.

There are moments in our lives when we find ourselves at a crossroad, afraid, confused, without a roadmap. The choices we make in those moments can define the rest of our days. Of course when faced with the unknown, most of us prefer to turn around and go back.

Lucas: Because it´s only when you´re tested that you truly discover who you are. And it´s only when you´re tested that you discover who you can be. The person that you want to be does exist, somewhere in the other side of hard work and faith, and belief and beyond the HEARTACHE and fear of what life has.

Lucas: There comes a time when every life goes off course. In this desperate moment you must choose your direction. Will you fight to stay on the path while others tell you who you are? Or will you label yourself? Will you be honored by your choice? Or will you embrace your new path? Each morning you choose to move forward or to simply give up.

The Saddest Poem

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.

Write for example, 'The night is shattered
and the blue stars shiver in the distance.'

The night wind revolves in the sky and sings.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
I loved her, and sometimes she loved me too.

Through nights like this one I held her in my arms.
I kissed her again and again under the endless sky.

She loved me, sometimes I loved her too.
How could one not have loved her great still eyes.

Tonight I can write the saddest lines.
To think that I do not have her. To feel that I have lost her.

To hear immense night, still more immense without her.
And the verse falls to the soul like dew to a pasture.

What does it matter that my love could not keep her.
The night is shattered and she is not with me.

This is all. In the distance someone is singing. In the distance.
My soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

My sight searches for her as though to go to her.
My heart looks for her, and she is not with me.

The same night whitening the same trees.
We, of that time, are no longer the same.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but how I loved her.
My voice tried to find the wind to touch her hearing.

Another's. She will be another's. Like my kisses before.
Her voice. Her bright body. Her infinite eyes.

I no longer love her, that's certain, but maybe I love her.
Love is short, forgetting is so long.

Because through nights like this one I held her in my arms
my soul is not satisfied that it has lost her.

~Pablo Neruda

One of the saddest poem I've ever read.

Pablo Neruda's poems

Sonnet XVII

I don't love you as if you were the salt-rose, topaz or arrow of carnations that propagate fire: I love you as certain dark things are loved, secretly, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that doesn't bloom and carries hidden within itself the light of those flowers, and thanks to your love, darkly in my body lives the dense fragrance that rises from the earth.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where, I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I don't know any other way of loving

but this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep it is your eyes that close

Sonnet LXXXI

And now you're mine. Rest with your dream in my dream.
Love and pain and work should all sleep, now.
The night turns on its invisible wheels,
and you are pure beside me as a sleeping amber.

No one else, Love, will sleep in my dreams. You will go,
we will go together, over the waters of time.
No one else will travel through the shadows with me,
only you, evergreen, ever sun, ever moon.

Your hands have already opened their delicate fists
and let their soft drifting signs drop away;
your eyes closed like two gray wings, and I move

after, following the folding water you carry, that carries
me away. The night, the world, the wind spin out their destiny.
Without you, I am your dream, only that, and that is all.


~ Pablo Neruda ~

Pablo Neruda is one of my favorite poets. Reading his poems make me feel in love and make me think that true love exist. His poems keep my faith in LOVE and sometimes make me feeel sad..because LOVE is real but some love is unrequited.

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe's POEM

PROXIMITY OF THE BELOVED ONE.

I THINK of thee, whene'er the sun his beams
O'er ocean flings;I think of thee, whene'er the moonlight gleams
In silv'ry springs.
I see thee, when upon the distant ridge
The dust awakes;At midnight's hour, when on the fragile bridge
The wanderer quakes.
I hear thee, when yon billows rise on high,
With murmur deep.To tread the silent grove oft wander I,
When all's asleep.
I'm near thee, though thou far away mayst be--
Thou, too, art near!The sun then sets, the stars soon lighten me.
Would thou wert here!
1795.

--Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

This poem is one of my favorites. I first heard this poem in a Korean Drama, Wedding. When I read this, i find it so romantic. It makes you wish that someone will actually feel this way to you...LOL! Romantic sucker that I am will really be moved by this poem...hahaha!

weekend with the angels...

March 15-16, 2007

restless, dog-tired and fun...my week. I slept for one hour only last Saturday. I had to finish my essay to be submitted early in the morning. Thank god that my class would be til noon only. There were so many plans for this day. I had to meet my friends in the office at the Fort and I had to meet the angels...When afternoon came, I realized that I'm dead tired and the only thing that I wanted was to go home and sleep. Weng (an angel and my classmate) and I decided to postpone the meeting and not to meet my office friends. Anyway, I already invited some of the angels to sleep in my house. So, we were still going to meet tonight. The plans were all change. Weng and I went to Alabang ahead and we would just meet the other angels in Alabang.

Time to have dinner... I thought I'm going to have my sleep but the angels were already on their way. We were planning where to eat and everyone decided that we would have dinner in Giligans ATC. We dined there. The food was great and the price was reasonable. We had an enjoyable time together.

Time to leave Giligans.. we didn't know where to go. We went to Starbucks Madrigal and we ended up leaving the place without buying a coffee. We looked for a grocery store to buy some snacks and we headed to my place.

At my place, the plan was to watch the TV series, Desperate Housewives but Weng and I could not keep our eyes open and we ended up sleeping. I did not even noticed when Grace and Shey went home. I was sleeping like a log. Ayka and Nancy were the survivors and they watched Prison Break instead of Desperate Housewives...

Sunday...Time to wake up..Everybody was sleeping. I had to wake up to prepare our lunch. I went to the nearest supermarket and bought Kimchi and tuna for our lunch. One of the favorite food of the angels.

Time to go home...It's already late in the afternoon. The rest of the angels (Weng, Nancy and Ayka) went home already. The house became so silent. It seemed like nothing happened. I was still tired and restless but the thing was I had fun even though we were not able to really talk since some of us were sleeping or doing something..Just being together..it made my weekend wondeful..

Friends...angels...even though we live in different places..the good thing is we still make time to meet and catch up with our lives..knowing that they are there for you just makes me feel safe.

Friends...it's not about how many friends you have but it's about how many are going to be there for you no matter what..

Quotes for me....

You are the person who has to decide. Whether you'll do it or toss it aside; you are the person who makes up your mind. Whether you'll lead or will linger behind. Whether you'll try for the goal that's afar. Or just be contented to stay where you are.

-Edgar A. Guest-

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Your life is the sum result of all the choices you make, both consciously and unconsciously. If you can control the process of choosing, you can take control of all aspects of your life. You can find the freedom that comes from being in charge of yourself.

-Robert F. Bennett-

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In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility.

-Eleanor Roosevelt-

My thoughts before I sleep...

March 10, 2008
Monday, 2:55 AM

It’s already morning but still I can’t sleep. My brain is wide wake even though I already want to go to my bed. There are so many things going on my mind and I decided to write them down. What I really want in life is one of the things that I’m thinking right now. What are the things that can possibly make me happy and what are the things that I’m longing to do. I’m taking graduate studies. Weeks from now, I’m going to have my diploma in teaching as a second language and months from now, I’m going to take masters in teaching English. Is this what I really want? I like it. I like teaching and when I see students learning from me, I have this wonderful feeling but then there is something missing.

There are so many things that I want to do and some of them, I already did and doing but I don’t really excel. I envy those people who excel on the things that they do and I wonder why I can’t. Is it because there are so many things that I want to do and I can’t give all of my energy in one thing. It seems that I’m scattering them in different places. I like to cook and I think I can really cook. I like to play soccer and I can play it. I like business and I had a wonderful time doing it when I was in college. I did these things but I did'nt excel.

Some people say that I’m lucky. I have a wonderful family. Despite with our differences but we still manage. I love them, immediate and extended. I have great friends, who are always there for me. In fact, some of them are not just friends, it seems like they are already my sisters. I have a good education. I studied in a private school since I was in preparatory. I went to a university that gives good quality of education and right now I’m studying in one of the best universities in the country. But still, I don’t feel that lucky.

Now, I’m working in an English online company. I have an invigorating job since I have to think of the lessons that I will conduct in my classes and I have a chance to talk with my students about their life. I have friends in the company. In fact, some of them are not just my friends they are my close friends. I have a good salary compare to others. Despite all of these things, there are times that I’m jaded.

Now, it’s already 3:42. My eyes are already drooping but still there are many things that I want to write…I have to have my sleep. I hope hours from now, when I wake up, it will be a wonderful day for me…To be continued…

Angels at harbour square

March 1, 2007
7pm

After a long tiring week, the Angels decided to meet. Grace and I met Ayka and Nancy in Mcdonalds beside dlsu. Weng was not able to meet us for she was tired preparing her wedding, geez..my friend is really getting married. Well, we decided to go to Harbour square, the most accessible hang out place. We dined out in Teriyaki boy and after that we had coffee in starbucks...As usual, our hang out place..anywhere so long as its starbucks...I think I can even memorize their menu..hahaha!

It's just so nice to end a tiring day or I rather say...week...with your friends talking over coffee...

tiring week...

Feb 25-March 1, 2007

Last week was one of my hell weeks this semester and was the first hell week for me for this year. I had so many things to do that I could not think what to do first. I was a little bit dazed what to do first. Well, I did the most important one... my lesson plan for my demo teaching. Take note: I have to demo in a foreign academic writing for graduate students. A little bit tough, huh? I did my lesson plan since Monday and I finished it minutes away from my demo class. The worst thing was my adviser cancelled the demo class. She said that she would not evaluate it since it was a graduate class. What she wanted was for me and my two classmates to demo in a class not for graduate students. That was it...all of my hardwork and sleepless nights were just for nothing..I was disappointed and maybe a little bit mad but then I did not do anything..stupid,I think, of me but instead I just agreed with my prof...great, right?

my week...

Monday...I can't remember what happened.

Tuesday...One of my most memorable nights. My friends, Krn and Noreen, and I were about to go to the parking lot when we saw one of our managers. We asked him about his day and he told us that he had some problems so we joked around and told him that we should drink to that. It was all for fun until he asked, "where?". We went to Molokai, one of the bars in Alabang. We were there until4:30 AM. We talked about our angst and our grievances in life. We had fun that night. It was awesome.

Wednesday...we were still talking about the thing that happened in Molokai.

Thursday...Almost all people on the floor were fretful on what would happen of our day. Mr. ACM had a bad mood. He was a little bit cranky and he was the person that we would not dare cross. Well, before our shift ended, he was smiling again but still we didn't know why he was peevish for two days.

Friday...everything was fine even though we were feeling a little bit sluggish. We were tired but we were working..we were young and we were underpaid...

Circle trilogy

I finished reading the book of Norah Roberts' Circle Trilogy, Morrigan's Cross, Dance of the gods and Valley of Silence, early this morning (around 5:00AM--kinda addict). The three books were about the sorcerer, witch, scholar, shape-changer, warrior and "one who was lost" (vampyre). The books were interesting but I think it would be better if she were more detailed especially when the war broke in the Valley of Silence. I felt like I want to read more about the events that had happened in the story especially the fights they had with the vampyres and of course the love stories of the six main characters. Among the three love stories, since each book has a love story of it's own, like in Morrigan's Cross, it was about Hoyt the sorcerer and Glenna the witch, in Dance of the gods, it was about Larkin the shape shifter and Blair the vampyre hunter and the last book of the trilogy was about Cian the vampyre and Moira the scholar. The trilogy had humor, friendship and team work. It did not just revolve around love and this was one of the reasons that made the three books wonderful to read.

The circle trilogy was a combination of historical and contemporary setting. It was meritorous on howNora Roberts was able to combine the two and how she was able to entrancingly described the characters. It was worth reading and I could not get enough of it.

my saturday...

12:01AM, Saturday

I went to Starbucks my favorite coffee shop. I asked my friend, Anna, to bring my laptop so that I could surf the net and write my critique paper about the article that my professor gave. I researched about the topic that I had to critique for several days already but it was so hard to find it. My friends already left me in Starbucks for they had to go somewhere to have fun. Me, I was stuck with my critique paper and with my Starbucks chai tea. I was so frustrated because I didn't know how to start my paper and how to critique the article that was given since I didn't know anything. hehehe! Anyway, I was so frustrated that I went home and I ended up playing Monopoly in my laptop. I played until 5:00 AM and that made me panicked. I had a class at 8:00AM and I didn't have a paper to submit. The thing was, I was not worried. I slept for two hours and went to school afterwards. I asked my professor if I could submit the paper later that afternoon. Thank god! He was such an understanding person that he gave me until afternoon to finish my paper. The funny thing was, when I asked my classmates about the paper, I realized that the paper that I had to do was not difficult than I thought. I just didn't understand the instructions...Wooohhh!!! Well, I was able to submit before the time my prof gave me elapse. Next time, I think I really have to analyze and to understand the instructions before complaining. *^*